Excitement made sleep impossible for me tonight. Tomorrow, I’d finally be going back to my medical college after months. Months that had felt like years.

Gratitude swelled in me, almost enough to make me forget. Almost enough to soften the pain and the hatred I still felt. But how could I not feel some strange, unsettling sense of gratitude towards my Almighty? 

Somehow, through it all, Sarfaraaz was changing, growing softer in ways I’d never thought possible. Even though I could never truly forget, my heart whispered that maybe one day, I’d have to let it go. Maybe one day, he’d be more than the man who had upturned my life and shattered my peace.

Yeah,  Sarfaraaz is not a man with ethics, logic, he has a beast inside him. But I was starting to see glimpses of Rayan–the softer, gentler man he might have been. I saw almost care for me in his stormy eyes.  Those rare moments, almost impossible to imagine, made my heart skip and left me haunted. He started  coaxing me to forget the past, to step forward into something new. The feeling both thrilled and terrified me.

His voice echoed in my mind. "Do you think I’m still after revenge? Can’t you see that I’ve found a new purpose, Édesem?"

'Édesem' I didn’t know the meaning of it yet. This name sounded sick to me at times,  but now when he said it my heart raced in a way I can't explain. 

Foolish. That’s what I was becoming. A fool for entertaining butterflies over a man who had ripped my life apart. He was still a monster, an annihilator of everything I cared about and called my peace. I scolded myself silently, but that didn’t stop me from lying there, awake and restless.

Finally, giving, I decided to check on Muneeb and Marshmallow. Maybe they’d soothe this strange ache in me. Slipping out of my room, I ran right into Sarfaraaz. He was drenched in sweat, his tank top clinging to his chest, every muscle sharp and defined in the dim hallway light.

Had he really been at the gym at this hour? But then I remembered...the nightmares. More specifically, his night terrors. My chest tightened, wondering how often he’d suffered alone.

"You’re awake, Hazel," he murmured, ruffling his damp, jet-black hair.

I snapped myself back to reality. "No, I mean, yes, I just wanted to check on Muneeb and Marshmallow," I replied, looking anywhere but at him.

He nodded. "I already checked. Muneeb is asleep, and so is your cat."

His voice was calm, almost reassuring, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking, "You...can’t sleep. Because of the night terrors, right?"

He hesitated, his voice quieter than usual. "Yeah...you should get some rest. I went to the gym to wear myself out. Thought maybe I could sleep if I was tired enough, but...beasts like me rarely get tired." His words were wry, his smile tinged with sadness.

Something twisted painfully in my chest. Before I could think it through, the words slipped out. "Then let me help you get some sleep."

He looked at me, completely taken aback. "You...are you sure? I mean, why are you volunteering to help?"

I shrugged, trying to mask the sudden rush of nerves. "I’ve helped you before. So don’t overthink it. Just...let me help."

His gaze softened just slightly. "Alright. I need a quick shower first. You can wait for me," he replied, holding the door open for me.

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As Sarfaraaz showered, my eyes wandered around the room, searching for anything to distract me. They landed on a file cabinet, and one folder immediately caught my attention–a red dossier, standing out boldly against the rest, all black.

Curiosity prickled at me, drawing me closer. I was desperate to know what was inside that single red file. But just as I took a step forward, the bathroom door opened, and there he was–my devilish husband, emerging with only a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Water glistened on his skin, tracing over every chiseled line, every muscle sculpted with a precision I was ashamed to notice.

Heat surge up my cheeks. Yes, his facial expression was as hard as ever, his gaze regal, reflecting that unrelenting mafia-like aura. But his body... it looked like it belonged to a model. A dangerously drool-worthy model.

Wait. What was I doing? Was I actually simping over my own destroyer like some silly, starry-eyed teenager? Get a grip, Hazel...

I blinked. Hazel. I’d actually called myself by the nickname he gave me, not my real name.

Arrgh! He wasn’t just the annihilator of my life–he was slowly, surely tearing down every shield I’d built around my heart and soul, leaving me bare and exposed.

I barely noticed that I was openly staring until I caught the way his eyes sparkled, a smirk dancing across his lips. He stepped closer, and my pulse quickened, his presence filling every inch of space between us until he was so close, I could reach out and touch his abs if I dared.

"Dekhlo aankhein bharke... Tumhari hi toh hai"
("Take it all in… it’s yours to look at, after all.")
he murmured, his gaze intense but lit with a flicker of amusement. "I know I’m irresistible, Édesem."

My cheeks flamed hotter. "Irresistible? My foot," I muttered, more to myself, desperate to deflect my embarrassment. "Can’t you put on some clothes so that I don’t have to see your… old man's body structure?"

His smirk widened. Without a word, he slipped his hands around my waist, lifting me effortlessly before I even had a chance to protest. Suddenly, I was on the bed, and he was hovering over me, his eyes darkening to a shade that made my pulse race with a mix of fear and something else… something dangerously intoxicating.

"Why don’t we put this old man’s stamina to the test, Hazel?" he whispered, his voice rough and low, each syllable sending a shiver down my spine. "Maybe that will help clear up any doubts."

"N-no thanks," I stammered, desperately trying to keep my composure, though my heart was hammering in my chest. "Now get off me, Rayan. I need to sleep after helping you to bed. And for heaven’s sake, put some clothes on!"

He chuckled, a soft, almost gentle sound, clearly amused by my flustered reaction. "Okay, okay. I’m going, Édesem."

As he finally came back, dressed in a t-shirt and trousers, I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. Somehow, seeing him fully clothed gave me a chance to gather my thoughts. Trying to mask the strange flutter in my chest, I pointed to the bed.

"Lie down," I ordered, hoping he couldn’t sense my nerves.

To my surprise, he obeyed without a word, stretching out on the bed like a model student following orders. His eyes drifted shut, but I could feel the intensity simmering beneath his calm exterior. Slowly, I let my hand reach for his hair, my fingers slipping into the damp strands as I tried to keep my movements gentle, soothing.

I could feel his presence, his warmth, even with his eyes closed. But then he spoke, his voice a low growl that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Is this what you call a way to put me to sleep, Hazel? Because it’s doing the opposite... It’s just making me restless."

I pulled my hand back, my heart pounding as I tried to mask my own reaction. "It was supposed to help!" I huffed, frustration bubbling up. "But since it’s not working, I’ll just go. Goodnight."

I barely made it a step when his hand shot out, gently but firmly grabbing my wrist. "Wait…"

Before I could react, he pulled me down onto the bed, and I landed on his chest. My breath hitched as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, his presence overwhelming my every sense. I could feel his breath against my hair as he murmured softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Stay."

My heart skipped. The warmth of his embrace felt so  familiar yet confusing, as if he were claiming something I hadn’t realized I was ready to give. Part of me wanted to break free, to retreat before I let myself sink any deeper. But he didn’t let go, his fingers tracing gentle circles against my back.

I swallowed, feeling vulnerable, exposed. "Just for tonight," I whispered, not even sure if I believed my own words.

He shifted slightly, his arms tightening around me. "I’m not talking about only tonight, Hazel."

I blinked, taken aback by the quiet intensity in his voice. "What do you mean?"

He paused, letting his words linger in the air before speaking. "Move into my room. I want you here, with me. Every night."

My heart raced, every instinct screaming for me to push him away, to deny what he was asking. But lying there, feeling his heartbeat beneath my cheek, I couldn’t bring myself to move.

He tilted my chin up, his gaze locking onto mine, a depth of emotion flickering in his eyes that I wasn’t prepared to face. "Stay," he repeated, his voice softer this time, almost vulnerable. "I need you here. My night terrors...they seemed afraid of you. They don't visit me whenever you are here."

And as I looked into his eyes, I felt something shift–an understanding, a connection I’d tried so hard to resist.
_____________________________

In the morning

I left his room very early in the morning, hoping not to wake him. After offering my prayers, I took a long shower, letting the warmth calm me.  My mind was already racing with thoughts of the day ahead.

I dressed in a loose beige color long maxi dress with a coffee color hijab with it. As I would be going by his car I didn’t bother wearing a niqaab as I have to remove it anyway after entering the college. 

After getting ready I got downstairs for breakfast. I knew he would be waiting for me to fix him something to eat.

Some things never changed. He never ate anything made by the cook after I entered this house. When he told me to stop all the chores I was doing I could not put myself to stop cooking.  At first I thought I started to love cooking,  maybe that's why.

But now I have realized that it wasn’t  just my love for cooking. I don’t  want   to admit it but It was because… I liked cooking for him.

I quickly made some sandwiches and took them to the dining table. 

As we started to eat he said in a tone that left no room for argument , "From today you are learning basic self defence techniques as you'll be outside the home without my protection"

I frowned, nearly choking on my bite. "I’m just going to college, Rayan, not a battlefield."

I hated exercise, and the thought of learning self-defense techniques sounded exhausting. My father had insisted on teaching me a few basics when I was younger, and I hadn’t particularly enjoyed it then, either. The last thing I wanted was to go through it all again.

"Okay. We’ll see about that," he said, clearly unfazed by my protest.

"Sure…" I replied, though my tone made it clear I wasn’t exactly thrilled.

Once breakfast was done, I grabbed my bag and followed him to the main door. Just as I was about to step out, his voice stopped me.

"Hazel, aren’t you forgetting something?"

I froze, knowing exactly what he meant. Örökké a tiéd. I’d repeated the phrase enough times by now to memorize it, yet somehow, every time, I found myself blushing.

Taking a deep breath, I said it softly, "Örökké a tiéd.' My cheeks warmed even more, though I still didn’t fully understand the words.

"What was that?" he asked, tilting his tall frame slightly as if he hadn’t heard. "Say it clearly, Hazel."

Sighing, I tiptoed to his ear, intending to speak the words louder, but before I could, he turned his face, and my lips brushed against his, completely by surprise. My eyes widened as he smirked, clearly pleased with himself.

"I needed this before letting you go for hours," he murmured giving another peck on my lips, his voice low, possessive. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. "Remember this, Hazel. You belong to me. Don’t make me regret my decision."

A chill went down my spine as he looked at me, his gaze darkening. "If I find out you did anything... unwise, you’ll be punished. Understood?"

I nodded, still caught off guard, my heart pounding at the intensity of his words.

____________________________

At the College

When we reached the college entrance I felt nerves to be shaky. Sweat forms in my hands and forehead. 

What if people still try to humiliate me like the last time.

"We are already here, Hazel. You need to go" he said calmly.

I was still fidgeting my fingers.

"Don’t worry about people's perceptions.  No one would dare to say anything to my wife." I saw his eyes darkening. 

Oh.  Mister!  You didn’t know how people treated me after the news got viral on the media that I eloped and created a kidnapping drama.

I just took a deep breath and said to him goodbye.

As I walked to my campus I felt good instantly. 

As I entered my  classroom,  my best friend Jubi came running and hugged me.

"I can't believe that I would see you again." she said crying. 

"Me neither" I replied in teary eyes.

As our Professor entered we pulled away. 
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Surprisingly anyone on campus didn’t  misbehave me like last time. Instead I saw them giving me a polite nod as our eyes met.

Strange.

_____________________________

I don't know if I have the right to regret, especially when I chose to let myself burn in this pain, to be the man she could use and throw away.

And she actually did it.

But knowing it would happen didn't stop my heart from aching in an inexplicable way.

(Flashback)

"I'm more sane than you think," she said, her voice steady despite her tears. "If you really want to help me, just do it. Or leave me here, and I'll find someone else."

The possessiveness in me awakened. Even though I was holding back as she cried for another man, there was no way I could let her waste herself with some bastard who might not even care about her and only give her STD. If she wanted a distraction, I'd let myself be that distraction....even if it crushed my heart.

Without another thought, I slammed my rough lips onto her soft ones. She was startled for a second but then deepened the kiss in response. Our lips moved together, syncing perfectly. I bit her lip gently, asking for entrance, and she let me in. I let her win the battle of tongues, giving her control.

"Not here. Take me to your home, Rahat," she said, biting her lip.

"Sure, Sana," I replied instantly.

We barely made it to my bedroom before our lips found each other again in a hungry kiss. She was like fuel, feeding my dormant desire. She straddled my waist as I carried her, never breaking the kiss.

"Strip," I commanded without a hint of sweetness. The beast inside me was awake, wanting to devour her.

And she obeyed, just like I'd always imagined. She unbuttoned her blouse, slipping it off her shoulders, and let her skirt drop to the floor.

My eyes darkened with desire, drinking in her perfect form.

"Egy istennő," I murmured. A goddess.

She reached back to unhook her lace bra, but I stopped her. Even though I wanted her. I didn't deserve her completely-not when she was only using me as a relief from her pain.

Instead, I kissed her again, guiding her to the bed, my hands roaming over her skin, making her a moaning mess. She clutched my hair, desperate for more, as my lips left a trail down her neck, over her collarbone, and into the curve of her cleavage.

"Please," she begged.

"Please, what?" I asked, smirking as I teased her through her panties.

"Fuck me in a way that makes me forget everything," she snapped, frustrated.

"Your wish is my command, istennő," I said, flicking off the light.
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.( I don’t want to write their explicit mature scene before the main lead... so don’t be dishearten by this 😊🌚)
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As she neared her release from my relentless thrusts, just as she'd wanted, her voice rang out, moaning the name of my best friend, my brother-Sarfaraaz, or "Sarfii," as she called him.

Instantly, my desire faded, my heart shattering into a million pieces. But I kept my silent promise-to let her use me. I forced myself to keep going, thrusting a few more times until she reached her climax.

Then I pulled away, wrapping a towel around my waist, and left the room.

(Flashback End)

My thoughts broke as my phone rang. It was Shanaya. It had been a week since that night, but I still couldn't bring myself to face her. Even so, I'd ordered my men to follow her discreetly, making sure she stayed out of trouble.

"So, are you going to pretend I don't exist?" Shanaya's angry voice filled the room, startling me.

"You're... here," I managed to say without looking at her.

"Yes, I am. Since you weren't answering my calls, I had to find you." She stepped right in front of me.

"What do you want, Shanaya?" I asked, keeping my tone even.

"Now it’s just ‘Shanaya’? You said you’d call me ‘Sana.’ Stop ignoring me just because we slept together." Her voice held something unfamiliar, raw and unguarded.

"It’s not like that. You needed my help, and I gave it. I’m just busy these days." I glanced away, trying to keep my composure.

She gave a bitter laugh. "Do I look like a fool to you? Playing chess alone is what you call ‘being busy’?"

Her voice turned sharp, then suddenly cracked. "You’re just like him… you’ve stopped caring. I thought we were friends, or maybe…" She paused, tears slipping down her cheeks, softening the hard edges of her city-girl armor. "Or maybe you think I’m just some sex-starved woman who begged you for release…"

Damn. I couldn’t stand to see her cry.

I cupped her face gently. "Sana, you have no idea what I really think of you. You’re not that kind of girl–not to me. I knew you were un pain.." I said, my voice softer than I’d intended, even though my heart still ached.

She closed her eyes, letting my words sink in, and I added, "But please, stop thinking about him. He has a wife now, and I think he loves her. He’s been through enough pain. Let him be happy."

She stared at me for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Finally, she spoke, her voice steady again. "Okay. Let’s not talk about him today. Just… spend the day with me."

__________________________

At the evening

Tania and Sarfaraaz were in the gym room of Sarfaraaz's house. The place where Tania never entered before.

She wasn’t thrilled about this whole self-defense lesson, but there was no way she could avoid it; Sarfaraaz had been insistent.

Dressed in a full-sleeved sports top and matching trousers, she could feel his gaze on her the moment she stepped in. The outfit hugged her frame in ways that she rarely allowed, every curve defined and accentuated. Sarfaraaz’s eyes widened, and he seemed momentarily lost, his breath catching in his throat as he took her in. She noticed him swallow hard, his usual composed demeanor shifting.

He took a deep breath, gathering himself, before walking closer to her, his dark eyes intense. Standing just a step away, he cleared his throat, but his voice lost its strength.

"Ready?" he asked, though his gaze was clearly distracted.

Tania crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. "Are you?"

Sarfaraaz smirked, seeming to enjoy her confidence. "We’ll see who’s ready," he murmured, his tone laced with challenge.

" So, at first, we’ll start with the basics. Remember, stance is everything!" he said, demonstrating with exaggerated movements.

Tania suppressed a groan. "Basics? Really?" she thought, a sour expression creeping onto her face. "I learned these basics years ago and I hate learning again" she said in her mind. Instead of voicing her irritation, she decided to have a little fun.

As he continued, clearly unaware of her growing annoyance, she threw a quick punch toward his face. The unexpected movement startled him.

"Oops! Did it hurt? I didn’t know I was learning this too quickly," she said making a puppy face. She pouted as if she were genuinely concerned.

Sarfaraaz’s eyes narrowed at the revelation that she already knew the techniques. In a swift motion, he pinned her down to the floor, hovering over her with a mix of surprise and amusement.

"So my feisty Édesem knows how to throw punches, huh?" he said, a smirk spreading across his face.

Tania looked up at him, her heart racing from both the thrill of the moment and the intensity in his gaze. "What can I say? The ruthless mafia would be that off the guard"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the playful banter. "Right..I should’ve known better than to underestimate you, Hazel"

"Maybe you should take notes," she teased, trying to wiggle free but only finding herself more firmly held in place. "I’m full of surprises."

"Yeah. I can see that. And I can't wait to unravel them." he said in a whisper.

"But I got a few of my own moves too. Only for you" he said in a husky whisper.

A shiver run down her spine at his words. But she also felt the thrill. Unable to resist,  she asked with a smirk in her face, "Oh really? I would like to see you try".

In a playful tone he murmured,  " Okay. Let me show you".

His hand moved to her thighs,  trailing over the skin-tight pant she wore. His fingers began to trace slow circles in a way that made her pulse quicken. Tania tried to push him away but he caught both of her hands in a firm grip and pinned them over her head. He loosened the hair clip from her and her silky black hair sprawling  on the floor.

A mischievous glint appeared in his dark brown orbs as he leaned in, pressing soft, lingering kisses on her collarbone,  moving up to her jaw and just behind her ear. Each kiss sent jolt to her core and  was making her breathless.  She could feel the fabric in between her thighs dampened  as a reaction to his devilish touch.

He finally stopped just an inch above her lips, his warm breath  mingling with her. A smirked formed in his face seeing her flushed, disheveled look.

"I wish you could see yourself right now, Édesem." he murmured, his voice low, a teasing whisper. "You look like a goddess drawn straight from the myths...My personal Siren"

She shivered, his words made her heart pound faster. Before she could respond his fingers were on her jaw tracing a  light line, sending another shiver.

"You know Hazel, what Sirens do?"  his lips brushed dangerously close to hers. "They lure men to their ruin." His eyes darken with desire.

"Strangely... I don’t mind ruined by you, Édesem....Because you are My Healer too"

His words only increased the tension between them, filling her with a mix of vulnerability and fierce warmth.

For him, she was his undoing,  his only light in his haunted life. She was both his calm and storm, polishing him to a more humane way he thought he would never be. 

And,  for her was the fire which not only burned her peaceful life,  but ignited a flame she once feared would consume her fully. Yet  in this burning heat she found herself willing to burn, to surrender forgetting everything.

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Id: author_safiyah2617