Sarfaraaz stood there, staring at the closed door he had just slammed in her face. His heart pounded, each beat amplifying the echo of the cruel words he had just unleashed.

He had done the right thing, hadn't he?

After everything he had endured because of her father, it was only fair. She had to pay the price for the past.

But then, a whisper crept into his mind.

What was her fault in all of this?

He clenched his fists, refusing to acknowledge it. He was justified. She was a reminder of everything that had been taken from him. Yet, the weight in his chest said otherwise.

Why did his heart hurt so much?
He should feel relief, satisfaction, anything but this gnawing sense of guilt, Regret and Self-loathing.

These feelings were foreign to him before she came into his life. But now... they were his constant companions.

In a moment, he found himself before the mirror. He could hear the sound of thunder and rain.

Sarfaraaz stood before the mirror, his face contorted with a mixture of anger, regret, and disgust. The reflection staring back at him felt foreign, monstrous.

The man he had become; the man who had just thrown her out into the rain, despite wanting to keep her close, mocked him with every detail.

His hand trembled, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. How could he do this to her, especially when he had started to soften toward her?

When he began to see her not as the daughter of Major Shafiq, but as her own person; a girl full of charm, with a heart far softer than he ever expected. The girl who dared to yell at him, Sarfaraaz Talukder.

The girl who, despite everything, was his wife.

Even if he didn't want to admit it, the truth was as clear as daylight: she belonged to him, and he had just hurt her....again.

He looked at the mirror again.
The reflection seemed to sneer back at him, reminding him of his failures, the rage he could never control. He stepped closer to the mirror, his breathing ragged.

"You destroy everything," he whispered through gritted teeth. His fists clenched at his sides. "You burn everything you touch."

He stared at himself, hating what he saw, hating the monster he had become.

"I've become the eternal flame who hurts you, burns you, even when I don't want to. But I can't let you go. It's beyond my capability," he said bitterly, his voice full of torment.

But what tore at him the most, more than his self-loathing, was the truth he could not ignore: He couldn't even go back to her.

He wanted to, desperately, but he knew his past..his hatred for her father would only lead him to hurt her more.

Today after reaching home the moment he looked at her, the memories of the betrayal, the loss of his family, ignited the fire of vengeance within him.

If he went back to her now, those flames would consume them both.

His eyes flicked back to his reflection, now consumed by a single, overwhelming urge to diminish it. With a roar of frustration, his fist shot forward, shattering the mirror into broken pieces. Glass rained down, and blood began to ooze from his knuckles, but the pain barely registered.

The pieces of the mirror scattered on the floor, fragments of the man he could no longer stand to be. The red smudges of blood reflected on the glass were reflecting the wounds inside him not just the wounds outside.

Breathing heavily, Sarfaraaz stumbled backward. His mind was a whirlwind of self-hatred and shame. He couldn't escape it.

In a desperate attempt to numb the storm, he turned and staggered into the bathroom. His hands fumbled to turn the shower on, and soon the cold water blasted against his skin. He stepped under the icy spray, hoping, praying it would wash away the guilt and the memories of her face, her tear streaked hazel eyes.

But even as the freezing water coursed over him, he couldn't escape. The fire inside him wasn't something that could be extinguished.

He tilted his head back, letting the water pour over his face, the blood from his hand mingling with the cold drops.

But nothing changed. The torment remained, burning him from the inside out.

Peace is not for someone monstrous like him.

So, he chose to punish himself, standing under the freezing shower for hours. The icy water pierced his skin like needles, mirroring the torment she must be feeling outside.

He stayed there, letting the cold consume him, as if the pain could somehow erase what he had done. But he knew nothing could.

______________________

I parked my car in the driveway of Sarfaraaz's mansion, the weight of concern already settling in my gut.

The employees had told me how he created a mess in his office and stormed out, furious as hell. I didn't need to guess,,it had to be something related to Hussein. It always was. But something about today felt different, like the storm was far worse than before.

As I walked up to the mansion, something in the corner of my eye made me stop. My gaze shifted to the lawn, and I froze. There was a figure lying motionless on the grass. My heart lurched, and I rushed over, my mind racing.

Tania.

She lay there, pale, lifeless against the wet ground. I knelt down beside her, my hands trembling as I checked her pulse. She was breathing, thank God. But it was shallow, weak.

What the hell had Sarfaraaz done to her?

Her voice from the last time we spoke echoed in my head. She called me 'bhai.' It wasn't something I could shake off. The word stirred something in me, something protective, something that made me feel responsible in a way I didn't expect.

Without thinking twice, I scooped her up in my arms and hurried to the front door. I pounded on it, my frustration and worry growing with every second. No one answered. The longer I stood there, the more furious I became and it even surprised me. I was about to kick the door down when finally, it creaked open.

Sarfaraaz stood there, dripping wet. His hair clung to his forehead, his eyes bloodshot, his face pale like he'd seen a ghost. Water dripped from his hair, and his whole body was trembling. It looked like he'd just come out of the shower, but the pain and guilt in his eyes told me this wasn't just about getting clean.

"What the hell, bro?" I snarled, stepping past him and into the house. "What did you do to her? Are you out of your mind?"

His eyes shifted to Tania, limp in my arms, and for a split second, I saw something in him break. His guilt was plain as day, but that wasn't enough.

"Give her to me," he said, his voice low, reaching for her.

"Seriously?" I spat, taking a step back. "Do you know she called me 'bhai'? It's still ringing in my ears. She could've been my sister's age. And this is how you treat her?"

He flinched at my words, but I wasn't done. I could see the regret etched on his face, but I wasn't going to let him off that easily.

I looked at Sarfaraaz, my frustration building as I took in my friend's disheveled state. Water dripped from his soaked hair, his hands still shaking slightly as he cradled Tania.

"And why are you looking like this?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes .

"Don't tell me you punished yourself after pushing her outside."

Sarfaraaz's jaw clenched, but he didn't respond. The tension between us thickened.

"A francba! (For fuck's sake!)" I exclaimed in Hangerian.

"You should've undone your mistake, not this. What good does hurting yourself do now?"

"She's not a punching bag for your anger, Sarfaraaz," I said, my voice sharp. "She's your goddamn wife, and you know it more than anyone."

He didn't reply, too focused on her now. His hand shook as he gently pushed the wet strands of hair from her face. I watched him crumble in front of me, the guilt consuming him. But guilt wasn't going to fix this.

"It's high time you start thinking before you act, before it's too late." I said, my voice softening, though I was still angry.

"Or you'll lose her like you've lost everyone else. If you really care for her, don't hurt her like this anymore. She's so much younger than us, this will break her, Sarfaraaz. Physically, mentally, all of it."

He didn't answer. But in the way he held her, the way his face twisted with self-loathing, I knew my words had hit him where it should hurt.

And I knew, deep down, this wasn't just a relationship built on hatred anymore.

He cared for her....probably more than he even realized.

I just wished he'd realize it faster.

With a sigh, I turned and left the room to call the doctor, hoping it wouldn't be too late for him to fix what he had broken.

________________________

Sarfaraaz carried Tania into the room he had arranged for her; the room he had wanted to surprise her with. But everything had gone wrong, so horribly wrong.

He gently laid her on the bed, his heart heavy with the weight of what he had done. After a moment, he went to call for nanny Haya to change her clothes. He couldn't bring himself to invade her privacy after hurting her so deeply, after making her so... lifeless.

When the doctor arrived, he examined her, prescribing rest and medication for her recovery.

Rahat forced Sarfaraaz to get his injured hand checked from the doctor and ask for some cold medicine for Sarfaraaz seeing him sneezing.

Once Rahat and the doctor were gone, Sarfaraaz stood timidly outside her room, hesitating before stepping back inside. He approached the bed and sat at its edge, too ashamed to come any closer. His heart ached with guilt.

"I'm ashamed of treating you like this. Get well soon, Hazel... please," he whispered, his voice shaky.

"I..I'll try to distance myself from you..." he continued, his voice was barely above a whisper, "Even though it is damn hard for me. But I know if I get closer...my rage only will end up annihilating you." he said in a bare whisper.

He stood, his gaze lingering on her still form, and began to walk toward the door.

As his hand touched the doorknob, he heard a soft whimper from her.

With a sigh, Sarfaraaz turned back. He approached the bed again and gently caressed her hair, trying to soothe her, but her body only shivered more.

Without thinking, he removed his shoes and slipped under the blanket beside her. He pulled her into his embrace, his hand slowly rubbing her back in an attempt to share his warmth, to calm her trembling.

"It looks like it's really beyond my capability... distancing myself from you," he murmured, holding her close, the weight of his words heavy with the truth he couldn't escape.

After staying by her side for more than an hour, Sarfaraaz reluctantly began to pull away. He slowly got up from the bed, his movements careful, as though he feared waking her.

With a final glance at her peaceful, yet fragile form, he muttered under his breath, "If you find us like this... it will only hurt you more."

His voice was laced with regret as he quietly left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click, leaving her alone once again.

____________________________

In the morning

Tania slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the light passing through the unfamiliar windows. She wasn't in her shabby room. The bed beneath her was soft, and the surroundings much more lavish than what she had gotten used to. Her mind raced, trying to piece together the events of the previous day.

Sarfaraaz!

"You don't deserve this, You sit here, acting like everything is fine. Like I'm getting soft. Like your father didn't destroy my life!"

His words still stung her fresh like it did yesterday. He just gave her a reality check.

He can't be change not now not ever.
It was her fault imagining that they could live at least in a civil manner.

And she can't live a life where her freedom is present.

The memories of him dragging her out of the house and let soaked in the rain until her passout, hit her like a wave. And now, here she was, in a room scremed comfort and care.

What did he really want? Why had he moved her?

Her body still felt weak as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Her steps were slow, but she pushed forward, determined to get out of this suffocating space. She didn't want to stay in this room, no matter how beautiful it was. It wasn't hers, and after what he had done, she couldn't bear to stay here.

As she stepped out of the room, her body collided with something hard. She looked up, startled, only to find Sarfaraaz standing right in front of her. His eyes met hers, dark and unreadable, and she quickly realized something, his room was right next to hers.

How could he dare to keep her this close?

"I'm not staying here," she said, her voice filled with defiance despite the weakness in her body.

She turned and began heading downstairs, back to the tiny, shabby room she had come to know. At least that room didn't make her feel trapped.

But before she could reach the bottom of the stairs, his hand gripped her arm, stopping her. "I closed that room," Sarfaraaz said, his tone low and soft. "You're not going back there, Hazel. Let's go back to your new room. You must be hungry...you didn't eat anything last night."

His words hit her like a slap. How could he talk her in a soft tone after everything happened.

She yanked her arm from his grasp, her eyes blazing with resentment. "Why do you snatch away every shred of peace I try to find?" she spat, her voice shaking with fury.

"Don't show your fake concern. My stomach is still full with the words you threw at me. And don't call me that." She lifted her chin, her gaze hardening.

"It's Miss Shafiq Hussein for you. Isn't that what you think of me? The blood of my father..."

For a moment, he stayed silent, his eyes searching hers, unreadable as ever. And then, with a sigh, he said, "So, would you be okay if I start calling you Mrs. Sarfaraaz? Or Mrs. Rayan, since you seem to like that name more?"

Tania's eyes widened at his audacity.

"You never make things easy. You only listen to me when I can't help but force you," Sarfaraaz muttered before scooping Tania up and tossing her over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" Tania protested, her voice trembling as she weakly tried to struggle.

As they were halfway up the stairs, a sultry, yet shocked voice interrupted his steps.

"Sarfii!"

Sarfaraaz froze, immediately recognizing the voice....Shanaya.

"Who is that in your arms?" Shanaya asked, her eyes narrowing as she could only see Tania's hair falling down while she struggled in his hold.

"You never bring anyone into your house... How come..." Shanaya's words were cut off abruptly when Sarfaraaz turned slightly, his expression cold and unwelcoming.

"She's none of your concern," he replied icily, not bothering to stop or explain. "Why are you even here so early in the morning?"

"And she lives here," he added, making Shanaya's jaw drop in disbelief.

"What?" Shanaya gasped, her shock evident.

"Don't try to take interest in everything, Shanaya," Sarfaraaz said dismissively before turning back, continuing up the stairs without another word.

Tania felt the heat of embarrassment burning her cheeks, humiliated by her position. From under the curtain of her hair, all she could see were Shanaya's long legs and high heels.

"Put me down... please, Sarfaraaz," she whispered desperately, her weak struggles growing more frantic.

In response, Sarfaraaz's hand trailed slowly over her back, sending a jolt through her body that made her freeze in shock.

"Stay still. We are going up, right now," he muttered in a low, commanding tone, leaving her no choice but to comply as he carried her up the stairs.

__________________

As they went to her room he gently put her down on her bed. He picked up the tray from the side table and offered her a glass of fruit juice.

"Drink. I'll go quietly if you listen to me like a good girl," he said, his voice steady, almost commanding. Inside, however, he was anything but calm.

He could see the confusion and anger swirling in her hazel eyes, a mix that both unnerved and frustrated him.

"Is it entertaining to hurt me first and then pretend to care? You do this to me every fucking time. I'm getting tired of it,"
she spat, her voice trembling with the weight of her emotions. Sarfaraaz felt a twist in his gut at her words, but he kept his face impassive, the mask of the mafia man firmly in place.

Tears welled in her eyes, and he felt a strange urge to wipe them away, to pull her close and tell her he would change for her. But he couldn't let himself soften, not now, not when he was still wrestling with his own demons.

"One day will surely come when you'll lose even the chance to show your so-called care," she whispered, her voice cracking under the strain of her pain. Sarfaraaz clenched his jaw, a surge of guilt flooding through him.

"I'm... sorry," he blurted out, surprised by the sincerity of the apology. He didn't even recognize the softness in his tone.

"Why? Shouldn't it be justified to you? After all, I'm your enemy's daughter," she retorted, a bitter edge slicing through her words. Her anger was like a blade, and he could feel it cutting deeper than he thought.

He remained silent, for a second. He knew the weight of her words.

"See? The truth made you silent. Fine. Keep hurting and punishing me all you want. I chose this life, and I won't protest anymore. I'll bear everything until my last breath..." Her words trailed off, and he instinctively pressed his finger over her lips to silence her.

He couldn't bear to hear her speak of death, of suffering that might befall her. "I thought it would be that simple," he said, the weight of his admission hanging heavily between them. "I believed it would feel justified. But I don't know why it feels like I just hurt myself when I hurt you, Tania. I don't know what is happening to me."

He took a deep breath, the air thick with tension, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I promise I'll try my best to lock the beast within me, to ensure it doesn't harm you. But please, don't speak of death."

He was even surprised at his tone and words. But he realized he need to protect her from himself, the beast within him.

Tania stared at him, perplexed by his sudden change in demeanor. She struggled to reconcile this version of Sarfaraaz with the man who had caused her so much pain. Trust was a fragile thing, and after everything, she wasn't sure if she could believe him.

"Eat and take a rest. You don't need to do the cleaning or cooking. I won't bother you anymore. I'm leaving. " he said getting up, his tone still firm, yet tinged with an unfamiliar warmth.

"Who was that downstairs?" she asked, attempting to shift the tense atmosphere in the room, her voice steady despite the uncertainty gnawing at her.

"That's my cousin, Shanaya," he replied, casting a quick glance back at her before stepping toward the door.

She nodded, but her mind wandered elsewhere, replaying his words.

"But I don't know why it feels like I just hurt myself when I hurt you, Hazel. I don't know what is happening to me."

Who said this? Was it the Sarfaraaz she knew, or was it Rayan..the man rarely glimpsed beneath the facade of the one who had caused her so much pain?

____________________

Sarfaraaz went downstairs to find Shanaya sitting with her legs crossed elegantly, a playful smile on her face.

He sighed, irritation flaring in his chest. "Why are you here, Shanaya? Don't you know I don't like people visiting me?"

"I'm not just some people, Sarfaraaz... It's your Shanaya," she replied, stepping closer, her tone flirtatious.

"Yeah, my little sister Shanaya," he shot back, his voice flat.

"Sarfii! You do this every time," she huffed, frustration evident in her eyes.

"And why is there a girl living here? How could you bring a mistress? That too, one who looks so bland. If you really wanted someone at your home, why not choose someone elegant and someone you know?" Her hand trailed over his chest slowly, a teasing glint in her eyes.

At the mention of 'mistress,' Sarfaraaz's jaw clenched tightly. He grabbed Shanaya's hand and yanked it away from his chest.

"She is my wife, not some mistress. Watch your words, Shanaya Talukder," he said coldly, his voice leaving no room for argument and it was the first time he acknowledged the relationship of them to a person.

"What?!" Her face turned pale, disbelief flashing across her features.

"Your wife! Since when?" she demanded, her voice rising.

"More than a month. If you're done, you can leave. I'm busy."

He left for his room upstairs leaving her burning in shock and jealousy.

________________________

Next Day

The next day, Tania sat in the corner of the French window in the living room, her gaze distant and blank. The sunlight streamed in, but it did little to lift the heaviness in her heart. Memories of her life as a medical student flooded her mind, leaving her sighing long and deep.

Suddenly, Sarfaraaz approached her, his presence commanding. "Come to my study," he ordered, his tone leaving no room for protest.

Irritated by his call and consumed by her melancholy, she reluctantly followed him into his gigantic study.

Without warning, he took her hand in his, a sudden and unexpected motion that made her gasp. "What are you doing?" she asked, bewilderment flashing across her face.

He didn't respond verbally but guided her to a corner of the room.

As she looked around, her eyes widened at the sight before her. A cozy arrangement for studying awaited her, complete with a desk and a large bookshelf filled with medical textbooks.

"This section is for you," he said, pointing toward the shelf. "Your medical books... all of them are available here."

Tania blinked, disbelief washing over her.

Is she seeing this right? Or is it just a dream? Her heart raced as hope flickered within her for the first time since her arrival.

"You can study here whenever you want," he continued, his voice steady yet softer than she expected.

"And from tomorrow, the best professors in the country will come to teach you medicine. You can continue your studies from here... for now."

Tania stood frozen, overwhelmed by the enormity of his words. A mix of gratitude and confusion swirled inside her, and she couldn't find the words to express it.

"You... you're telling the truth, right? Can... can I really study?" Tania asked, her voice trembling with a mix of hope and disbelief.

"Yeah..." he replied, the word slipped from his mouth before he could fully process it.

In an impulsive burst of joy, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

"Thanks," she said warmly, her voice muffled against him.

Sarfaraaz was taken aback, momentarily frozen by her unexpected gesture. But as the surprise faded, he slowly wrapped one arm around her back, lifting her off the ground.

A warm smile crept onto his lips, surprising even himself. It had been a long time since he had felt this way, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to savor the connection between them. Forgetting the dynamics between them.

____________________

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